More Ideas for Discerment

Here are a few more thoughts on the process of discernment. The following is taken from some correspondence with someone thinking about becoming a sister.

Every Order that exists was founded for a specific reason and has specific gifts from the Holy Spirit. These gifts are called "Charisms". One of the goals of Vatican II, was to get orders to rediscover their Charism. The Charism can be their spirituality and our their mission, or both.

In my estimation, School Sisters should not run medical clinics and Nursing Sisters should not be teaching Grade Schools. I believe this solely because it is not a part of their Charism. However, if a school sister wanted to serve the poor, maybe she could teach in a poor neighbourhood; and if a nursing sister wanted to teach, maybe she could teach nursing, pharmacology, or what have you. The Trappist monasteries that ran schools now have very few monks, because that is not what Trappists are supposed to be doing. [If anyone disagrees with these statements I would not mind an open friendly dialogue with them. I will not debate you,but I will post your opinions].

I believe the orders that are dying off either have outlived their charism (eg, there is a order that was founded to rescue slaves from Barbary Pirates) or they are not living out their charism (teaching sisters that are trying to be social workers [there are, btw, sisters who specialize in social work).

If you were to become a sister or nun, would it matter where you were? I believe part of my vocation is to be in England, that is why I am over here. Some people are particular to even what neighbourhood they are in, and there are those for whom location does not matter.

Does the size of the community matter to you? Large, Small, any??? Does the wearing of the habit matter to you?

As far as apostolate with children: one can teach, one can teach children with special needs, one can teach children in abject poverty (both in the US or abroad); one can work with orphans, wards of the state, or run-aways; one can work in hospital, etc.

Remember, if it is important to you, it is important!
Some times God chooses to speak to us through things that are unimportant to others.

These are my thoughts, and I speak for myself alone. I hope I speak with Christian Charity and concern.

God's Blessings to you all.

PAX

ps, there are only ten weeks until my clothing as a novice, God Willing

Some steps in Discernmet

I have received a couple emails from someone who is taking a fresh look at the possibility of a vocation. I do not want to disclose anything personal about this person, but I would like to share some general points just in case there is any one else in the same position.

Trying to discern your vocation is TOUGH. I think it is tougher for women because there are so very many orders. It is important to remember that a lot of the spiritual life is just you and God in silence. Every human being has issues,and in honest silence they will slowly rise to the surface. For instance, I never realised how judgmental I was being. In distractions from prayer, my judgmental-ness came quickly to the surface. Even though I did not vocalise any of it, I was shocked how bad I was (am). But, like the rest of life,I rely on God's grace for assistance.

So as you look at your vocation, look at its component parts.

1. I consider the core of any vocation to be responding to God's Love with our love. Whether you are married or single, in religious life or not, God calls us to live a life of love.
   
2. You should go to a monastery (of men or women) and experience the Divine Office, also called The Liturgy of the Hours. If you check out a monastery's daily time table it might have: Lauds, Vespers, Compline or Morning Prayer, Evening Prayer, and Night Prayer listed. I had never known about this until I was in my 20's. BUT I love the Divine Office, and it is a large part of my life. There are different ways of celebrating the Divine Office: In Latin, In Modern Translations (I have even seen politically correct translations), sung or recited.
• This is part of almost the life every nun or sister.
  
• Nuns, like monks, are contemplatives and are enclosed to varying degrees. The purpose of enclosure is to keep the distractions of the world out, not to keep you locked in... though at times it can feel that way.
  
• Sisters are active, that is, engage in active apostolates("outside" jobs): teaching, nursing, parish ministry, foreign missions, social work. Some orders are very flexible in how they balance prayer life and active ministry.
• I sought a monastery that celebrated the entire Divine Office in common: Vigils, Lauds, Sext, Terce, None, Vespers, and Compline. Some active orders might only celebrate Lauds and Vespers in common. You have to decide what you like.
3. You also have to decide, do you want to live alone, in a small group, in a larger group. Small groups are toughest and require a lot of patience, compassion, and Love. In an order like the Carthusians, you are basically a hermit: most of your days is YOU and GOD in Silence. If that is your calling, it is beautiful. If that is not your calling, it is probably scary. It scares me.
4. If you are looking at community life, a balance of ages and the presence of other people trying out their vocations is a very good thing. When there are older members you have wisdom on which you can draw; when there are younger members, there is the promise of a future.

On this the Feast of the Epiphany, may we follow our guiding light of Faith to meet our King.

God Bless You all!

Peace,

Declan

Week 1 at the Abbey

I have finished my first week at the Abbey. It is beautiful and peaceful. The manual labour has been quite varied. I have even been helping with the cows! To be honest even some of the cows have been helping me with the more stubborn cows. But there is a special spiritual treat today. There are ten of us going off to Nottingham to the Cathedral Church of St. Barnabas. The cathedral will be open all night for a vigil with the relics of St. Therese of the Child Jesus and the Holy Face.


Both I and one other brother here had been novices with the Discalced Carmelites, which of course, St. Therese was. It seems for both of us it is easier to live a Carmelite vocation with the Cistercians than with the Carmelites themselves. Granted it is a bit unfair of me to say that because there are many authentic ways to live out Carmel.

The Carmelite nuns of Lisieux required that wherever the relics stayed over night, there needed to be contemplatives at the vigil. We Cistercians will not be alone. Some Poor Clares will be joining us, too! I even heard that members of the Catholic Chaplancy at the University of Nottingham will be joining us over night.

As part of my vigil, I will be praying for the readers of my blog. I hope you keep me in your prayers too.
God Bless You All!
PAX

And So It Begins... At Long Last :)

The above image was wantonly lifter from the Sub Tuum blog. Sorry, Br. Stephen. Tomorrow used to be know as Michaelmas: Feast of St. Michael the Archangel. It is now know as the Feast of the Archangels: Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael.

It is the 174th anniversary of the Founding of Mount St. Bernard Abbey. It is also the first day of my postulancy at Mount St. Bernard Abbey. Please pray for me.

God's peace and blessings to you all.

The Time is Almost upon Us (or just me)

I have just come over to England from Ireland. I am on a double "Family Tour." First I am seeing all of relatives on my mom's side of the family, then all the relatives on my dad's side. At least as many of them as I can: a couple cousin are off on holiday in Africa, and some are just off. :)

At present I am in Sussex. Experiencing fantastic autumnal weather. While my cousin did gardening, her husband took me to the town of Lewes. Later on we will go to my uncle who has just turned 90. Tomorrow I go up to Sheffield; then on down to Dudley.

The Castle Gate at Lewes

And this coming Tuesday I enter Mount St.Bernard Abbey. While packing upmy house I felt a good bit of apprehension. This is the first time in my life that I am closing a chapter of my life so firmly. This is the first time since I was 8 years old, that I do not have any keys. No keys to an house or a flat. No keys to a car or even a bike-lock. I do not even have locks on my luggage, so no keys there either.

But that chapter is closed. And the apprehension is gone. The sale of my house is entrusted to a remarkable friend. The title to the car is signed over. That which I did not need at the abbey was given away, thrown away, or just left behind. To a great extent I got rid of every thing that was extraneous to my new life. In time I will probably get rid of more stuff.

Detachment from things is pretty easy for most people to grasp. Detachment from friends and family is a lot more difficult to graps. Unlike things, I do not want to get rid of friends and family. But their priority in my life changes, and it changes drastically. Before I prioritized things the following way:

1. God
2. Family
3. Friends
4. Job

In a dire situation, one could temporarily move up to a higher position; but things averaged out in that manner. Now the list is more like:

1. God
2. Worship of God in the Liturgy
3. Conversio Morum (the changing of my ways)
   
4. Family and Friends

I cannot now drop things and run over and help. It can even be difficult to lend an ear, sometimes. But this is the life I have chosen, and I realized it long before I applied. But I pray that my friends stay friends with me. I do not want to loose them; I just cannot possess them.

So now here I stand on the precipice of my metaphorical Cîteaux. The Journey does not end here. Oh no! It is just beginning. The terrain is getting steeper and, I have to pay more attention to my footing. Strap up your hiking boots, grab a staff, and join me.

God's Blessing and Peace to you! Please pray for me.

How do you fit a life into a 24" x 24" x 17" carton?

How do you fit a life into a 24" x 24" x 17" carton? That is my task for the weekend. It is amazing just how much extraneous stuff that I have. The more I try to figure what is important, the more I realize that nothing I own is that important.

I have an antiques: clocks, Singer Sewing Machine from about 1923, etc. etc. and while they are worth money- blah, big deal. Now I am not obliged to disburse my property until I approach Solemn Vows, but why wait. I am trustful that I will become a monk, and that everything will work out. But even if it doesn't, it feels good to unburden my self of this stuff.

As the late summer morning sun shines through my stained glass windows filling my sitting room with an abundance of colours, I happily bask in my little slice of Heaven. I do not look on material goods as something evil. In their proper perspective, material goods are good things - but only things. When people decry material goods as evil, I enjoin them to take a stroll in the nude on a -25º (-32º Celsius) winter day. The goodness of material things becomes readily apparent in that scenario. Kidding aside, Holy Scripture tells us in the book of Genesis that God made the world. "and saw that it was good."

So back to my opening question: How do you fit a life into a 24" x 24" x 17" carton? by using plenty of packing peanuts. The carton is 17" tall, and I will not be able to fill it to the top.

God's Blessings to you and Peace!

A Liberating Theology

Please allow me to begin with a disclaimer: I am not writing about "Liberation Theology." What I am writing about is the vow of obedience, or at least my understanding of it.

To most people obedience is a scary concept. For some the mind boggles with images of brainless, soul-less subservience. The Code of Canon Law (canon 601) defines it is as follows:

"The evangelical counsel of obedience, undertaken in a spirit of faith and love in the following of Christ who was obedient even unto death requires a submission of the will to legitimate superiors, who stand in the place of God when they command according to the proper constitutions."

The submitting of the will is not done under a bully or an adversary, but to someone standing "in the place of God." Wow! That is very deep: being obedient to someone serving you. The abbot or abbess of a monastery, using Christ as their model, is the servant of the entire community. Of course the needs of the entire community comes before that of the individual, and occasionally one has to accept a "no." I expect there to be some challenges as I transition into the monastic life, but eventually --God Willing-- it will just become part of the life.

Overall, however, I believe that the vow of obedience, as framed by the rule of St. Benedict, is liberating. There are two values prevalent in Western society that, to me, are obstacles in the spiritual life: Acquiring and Aspiring. The vow of obedience nullifies aspiriations, if you let it.

Now it's really real

I bought my ticket to Europe yesterday. A one-way ticket Now it feels real. I leave America in twenty-six days: wow! The big task now is selling my house.

The big emotional task is saying good-bye to friends. I am surprised at the number of people who say they are upset that I am going. One person erupted with a vile tirade against me. The next day he sent me a half-hearted apology via text message but has not spoken to me since.

Most people who are saddened by my leaving are not against my vocation. I tell them if I could fulfill my vocation in the Chicago area I would. Some people with whom I have only had a handful of conversations tell me they are going to miss me. It is like the saying: "Is it love or the idea of being in love." I suppose in my case the saying might be:"Is it Declan or the idea of Declan." I believe these people are genuine but possibly overly sympathetic.

I have made a lot of real friends since I moved to Blue Island almost four years ago. As well as friends I have made from previous stages in my life. Now, thanks to Facebook, I am in touch with friends some of whom I have not seen since I was 13 years old. The support and prayers I am getting is truly heart-warming. Despite the fact that I am moving 4,000 miles away and that I will not be able to take a vacation, I intended to maintain my friendship with many people. While writing letter, email, and blog posts are not the same as sitting nextg to someone; it can keep connection strong. And with the speed of email real conversations can take place.

It is officially official!!!

I have been accepted as a Postulant at the Abbey of Mount St. Bernard in the Charnwood Forest in Leicestershire, England. It is the only operating abbey of Cistercian monks in England, and about 50 miles from where I was born.

My date for entry will be 29 September 2009: The Feast of The Archangel: Saint Michael, Saint Gabriel, and Saint Raphael. It is also the 174th anniversary of the founding of the abbey.

Thanks for everyone's prayers. And I hope the prayers continue!

God's Blessings and Peace to all of my readers.

More Photos

This is the altar dedicated to St. Benedict. It is located behind the choir, and not visible from the people's nave.


















This is Br. Martin with Mitzy. He is an amazing potter. His pottery is for sale at the Abbey's gift shop. Mitzy is a good mouser.











In 1950 Michael Tansi entered the abbey. He took the name Cyprian. After his formation, was to return to Africa to help start a new monastery. He died suddenly in 1964. After a miraculous healing of a young girl in Cyprian's home country of Nigeria, he was declared blessed by Pope John Paul II in 1990. His remains were returned to Nigeria and interred in a church which is now a place of pilgrimmage. Many Nigerians and other devotees come to Mount St. Bernard because of him. This is a photo of his shrine in the church.









Some of the calves.














The abbey in hedge form!

Back Home - with the attack cat

The second half of my live-in is now complete. I left the abbey at abbey at 4:50 AM on July 29, 2009. I was home by 4 PM Chicago-time. I was back about 2 hours when my cat started using me as a chew toy --my punishment for being away for 2 weeks. I got a few bites from him this morning, too, just for good measure. Lucky looks harmless, bbut don't be deceived. He is 25 lbs of furry fury.

It is a shame I had to leave the abbey so early. Later on that morning one of the postulants was scheduled to be clothed as a novice. As this is done in Chapter, I would not have been able to attend the ceremony, but I would have liked to have seen him after words.

This trip went quite well.I met with the psychologist that the abbey uses for screening applicants. He was a bit too Jungian for my liking, but he was a very affable person. I got a copy of his review a few days later, and he gave a thumbs up. My meetings with the novice master and abbot were both positive, too. So now I wait for a few days, PRAY, and then I send a formal letter asking to be accepted. The novice master and I discussed a possible entrance date(which I view as a good sign). So if I am accepted, I will most likely enter on 29 September - Michaelmas. Please pray for me!


The Manual Labour was a bit more laid back for the summer months. On many of the nice days we were picking summer fruits like. We picked pound after pound of red currants, black currants, and raspberries. I made an interesting observation while doing this: Chickens like raspberries. Who knew? After feeding them a couple handfuls, the chcikens remembered me, and rushed over to the fence when ever I walked by.

I treated myself to a digital camera before I left for England. I took about 55 photos while I was there. One photo came out very well, which surprised me because I am not a very good photographer. It is a photo of the abbey church from the peoples nave. I think the Holy Spirit guided my hand.

Take care and God bless you all. I will post more photos tomorrow.

Monastic Vocation - Continued

To me, I think one of the biggest indications that one has a monastic vocation is a love of the Liturgy of the Hours (aka:Divine Office, Prayer of the Church, and Breviary). If I had been more "on the ball" I think I would have realised my monastic vocation much earlier in life. I think that the Liturgy of the Hours is a wonderful way to worship our Lord. As the Psalms open up to you, you can see them on so many different levels. You may see it as King David crying out to the Lord in time of need; you may see yourself crying out to the Lord in time of need; or you may see Jesus talking to you; the same Psalm may hit you a different way. And all of these are valid ways of viewing the Psalm.

I actually did not know about the Liturgy of the Hours before I went to seminary at Oscott College. It was there that I discovered it, and there that I began to treasure this way of praying. If you are unfamiliar with the Liturgy of the Hours you might want to check to see if there is a monastery, religious community, or even parish that prays it near by. The Liturgy of the Hours can appear in numerous forms. If you do not like it at one place check another. Some communities have it in Latin - if you do not understand Latin you may not like it or you might still appreciate the beauty. The American translation is a bit dry in my opinion. I have seen "politically correct" breviaries - one can take that as they will. Also the Roman Breviary take the 150 Psalms over a 4-week period, some communities take the Psalms over two week and some in just one week.

What ever your vocation is, this way of prayer is open to all Christians: married, single, younger, older, priest, lay-person - Everyone. But if you are looking to celebrate the complete Liturgy of the Hours everyday, you may just be called to a monastery.

Do I have a monastic vocation?

I was talking with one of the postulants here at Mount St. Bernard's Abbey. Whilst he is much younger than I am I found out we had something in common about our vocational journey. When we were younger we assumed vocation=priesthood. We did not know why someone would join a religious community, much less a monastery. We did not even know what questions to ask to try to make a determination

If you are a man or a women wondering if you could have a monastic vocation there are questions you can ask yourself:
Do I love Christ, and do I want to follow him closely?
Would I benefit from living with others trying to follow Christ in the same way?
What are my feelings about Liturgy: Mass and the Divine Office?
Liturgy is nice but there is more important work to do
Liturgy is nice, but let’s balance it with our apostolate
Liturgy is a way to offer God proper worship, and St. Benedict says we should prefer nothing to it.

The first answer I would say is a counter-indication of a monastic vocation. The second answer might be an indication of a quasi-monastic vocation or a vocation to a teaching monastery. The third answer is more along the lines of a more enclosed community.

I must run to Compline. I will post more on this topic tomorrow.
God Bless You.

Monastic Live-in,Part Deux

On Monday I am flying back to Britain with Mount St. Bernard Abbey as my sole destination. After my half-month stay, I can formally apply to enter the abbey. I decided that I would not be doing any further traveling on this trip.

On my humble little blog I try to be honest. Honest about what I see and honest about my feelings. And I try to avoid being overly-positive or pollyannistic. So, emotionally speaking, the anticipation for this trip is very different from the previous two trips. There was a sense of adventure and discovery for the previous trips, but I am not expecting that anything will be different from my last trip in May.

Yesterday I started feeling anxious about this upcoming trip. At first this feeling worried me. On reflection I think the enormity of my decision to apply to the abbey has finally hit me. And it is about time. This decision is HUGE.

When I resigned my self to the thought that my religious vocation had fizzled, I put down roots. I established a career for myself, bought a house, entered in to public life (including a run for alderman), and most importantly I made a lot of friends. I thought that I was going to here in Blue Island for life. There were a few parishes in and near Blue Island that I checked out. None of them fit. Just over a year ago I joined St.Isidore the Farmer Parish, and I thought the final piece of the puzzle was found. I was there about three months when my vocation was reawakened.

I firmly believe that the Cistercian life with its focus on God and simplicity of life is what God wants for me. So the aspect of getting rid of my possessions is not a big deal. There is also the aspect of detachment from family friends. This is more of a challenge, because these relationships are two way streets. I will write more on that topic on a later date.

Sometimes I think God lifts some of his sweetness from our lives so that we are aware that we are entering into a new phase of life. A number of years ago I had two friends that were expecting their first child. As the due-date approached the dad-to-be confided to me that he was very nervous and afraid he was not up to the task of being a father. I told him that it was good that he was feeling that way because it showed that he was taking being a father seriously. I think the same thing can be said of my anxiety.

Again I ask for your prayers as I go to the abbey and as I apply to enter it. If any of you have prayer requests, please feel free to forward them to me.

God Bless you.
Pax!

What's so Wrong?

I was talking with a group of friends recently . Upon hearing of my intention to enter a monastery, one of them asked, "What so wrong?" In utter bewilderment I responded, "Nothing!"

At present I live a very comfortable life. Owing to a fair-sized inheritance I was able to resign from a very stressful career, and sort out what I want to do with my life. I have been able to pay my bills and mortgage, buy a car, even do a fair bit of travel. I view all of this as solely God's grace. I do not believe that I earned it, am owed it,or deserve it. But because of my current circumstances, I asked my friend how could he think anything was wrong.

As I reflected on the question posed to me, I asked him, "Do think a monastery is a place where a group of miserable men live out a miserable existence?" I do not think anything could be further from the truth.

The monasteries I have visited have been populated with men dedicated to God, living a peaceful and joyful life. If this were not the case, I would not waste my time looking at the monastery. Not that there are not challenges in the life of a monk, but then there are challenges in every walk of life: married or single, whether you are a parent or not.

I think the challenges we face shape our lives. They give us the opportunity to look at aspects of our life and ask, "Is it worth it?" A lot of people think that I am giving up to much by entering a monastery, but to me it is worth it.

For me sussing out my particular vocation was the tough part. My vocation happens to be that of a monk. If it were not my vocation, I think life in a monastery would be hell. In 19th Century France there was a young man who wanted to be a priest, but his superiors did not think he had a vocation because he knew no Latin. He left and married a woman who had wanted to be a nun but had to leave due to ill health. He was Blessed Louis Martin. His wife was Blessed Marie-Azelie. They had five daughters who became nuns, the best known one being St. Therese of Lisieux. I firmly believe that if we live out our vocation, whatever that vocation may be, we are living on the door-step of Heaven.

Decisions, Decisions

May 27th -Feast of Augustine of Canterbury

Well today was a bit out of the ordinary; even after what I said yesterday. I think God has a good way of making us laugh at ourselves. We went to a conference of religious (Brothers, Sisters, Nuns, and Priests in religious orders). As the only aspirant in the group I was a bit of an oddball there… yes more of one than usual. While the speaker was not much to write home about (so I won’t); the sisters were quite interesting to talk to. More than a few had Chicago connections too! The Abbot and Novice Master attended with the novice, the two postulants, and myself.

May 28th
I spoke with the abbot today and I told him that I wanted to join the abbey. He wanted to know what formed my decision. The things that shape my decision were:

• My introduction to the Divine Office was the British translation and that is the translation I prefer.
• That translation is accessible to the laity, and the laity attend most every one of the offices at Mount St. Bernard (even Vigils, at times).
• The liturgy in England is much less politicized than in America. To coin a phrase, there is a Spectrum of Orthodoxy in England. The Mass can be celebrated worthily in a variety of ways: maybe more formal at times and maybe more intimate and personal at other times.
  
• Mount St. Bernard's has been around for almost 175 years. I do not think it is going anywhere, anytime soon.
• There is a great range of ages there from age 26 - 95. So there is both youthfulness and wisdom present at the abbey.
• All of the able body members take their part in manual twice a day. No one is "too good" for it.
• There is a real since of austerity at the abbey, not that they live in abject poverty.

During my first week of the live in, I did not even want to bring up the questions of a decision in prayer. By the beginning of the second week, I did not even have to ask the question... I knew the answer.

Fairly soon I will have another live-in. After that, I can apply to the abbot for entrance. I ask for your continued prayers as I begin this next leg of my journey. Thank You and Peace.

The Joy of the Ordinary

May 25th

Memorial of St. Bede the Venerable. The idea of getting up at 3:15 am used to be ludicrous to me. It seems so natural after just a week. Vigils last around an hour, but it feels like minutes as we chant the psalms and listen to the readings. As Vigils comes to an end the birds begin to chirp. The votive Mass of Our Lady is so simple and beautiful. The exact same readings are used for the community Mass, but the atmosphere at this one is quite intimate. At breakfast I had a bowl of porridge with a big mug of tea. After I finished eating, I was sipping away thinking, “Ah, tea with the Lord.” When I was in seminary I used to hate meals in silence (on days of recollection); now I get it.

Manual Labour continues to be a learning experience. Have you ever been to Ireland or England and seen those stone walls around farm fields? Have you ever wondered how they were put together without any mortar? I no longer have to wonder. If it was not for the tutelage of the two postulants, I think I would still be out there trying to fit the stones together.

May 26th

Nothing out of the ordinary happened today, and that is a very good thing! In my opinion one of the goals of monastic life is to get rid of the peaks and valleys so often associated with modern life. No fantastic heights, no terrifying declines. There are emotional highs and disappointments (some times even deeper) in every life. That is unavoidable. But I think our emotions should be like our blood sugar. Avoid spikes. Avoid crashes.

I came across a little book here called The Monk's Mirror. I have just begun to peruse it. I can across where there was the advice of dealing with temptation manfully and not by complaining. Now I hate to reveal so much about my darker side, but whether the temptation is a lurid thought or chocolate cake, I have the tendency of crying out to \God, “Why me?” I think the advice of dealing with temptation “manfully” or “head on” (to be more inclusive) is some of the best advice I think I have ever heard.

Back on the 'Island"

I am back home from my visit to Mount St. Bernard's. I kept a bit of a journal, and I wrote a little something almost every day of my two-week visit. I will start posting a couple entries at a time. I am not going to edit the entries so that you may see how my view point develops over the days:

May 18th

I was picked up at Nottingham Station by a friend of mine that I had not seen since his ordination 10 years ago. At that time we had both lost our fathers, now both our mothers have passed , too. We had a pleasant chat and arranged to meet each other after my retreat.

I received a very warm welcome from Br. Paul. He made some tea and we had a little talk. After the Office of Sext, Br. Clement, a novice, gave me the grand tour. He did his best to show me how the books for the Liturgy of the Hours worked together, too: The Psalter, Antiphonal, and Hymnal . He also taught me the three most common signs of the Cistercian Sign Language: Thank You, Sorry, and Joyful. Thank you is similar to the American Sign Language sign, Sorry is a couple mea culpas, and a was greeted with outstretched arms and a big smile. That can means, Happy Feast Day, or Welcome, or any Joyful Greeting. I received that greeting quite a few times.

It is a little past 8 PM and still quite sunny. But 3:15 AM comes early, so it is bedtime.

May 19th

I woke up way too early today - hours before Vigils. I was supposed to sleep in today, too. Hearing the church bells as they rang for Vigils at 3:25 sounded quite lovely. An hour later the first birds began to chirp. I am slowly getting the hang off the books of the Liturgy of the Hours. The Psalter is on a one-week cycle, the antiphonal is on a two-week cycle, and things are a little more complex since this is the Easter season.

I am meeting more of the community but it is not always easy remembering all the names. I spoke with a brother in temporary vows. He was telling me that he attended a lecture from a Benedictine sister from Chicago. Later in the conversation he told me that he had looked at the Abbey of Our Lady of Spring Bank, too, as part of his discernment process.

I did get an unfriendly greeting today from Tim, the abbey’s cat. He hissed at me; but being a good Trappist cat, he made no sound as he hissed.

Last post before June

This will be my last post before June. I am gearing up for my trip to England which is only a week away. My getting ready for the trip has been complicated by some minor storm damage to my house and someone almost plowing through my garage. The minor damage I am going to handle later today, but the garage will need to be fixed by a contractor.

But this has not put a damper on my spirits. I have a quiet excitement about me in regards to this trip. It will be good for me to see the Abbey of Mount St. Bernard "from the inside", so to speak. Providentially I have already had an "inside view" of Our Lady of Spring Bank Abbey. I think I will finally be able to make an apples to apples comparison.

Please keep me in your prayers.
PAX

Journey and Destination

From quite a young age I felt the call
To follow my LORD and give my all.
Giving up that which others would seek
Following a king both humble and meek

God’s call to me was not always clear
I had searched for it both far and near
In Chicago and in England, too
I searched sincerely for what I should do

Priest, Friar or Monk are they all the same
There is more to this than just in name.
Reading lives of saints can put things askew
Showing us ideals attained by few

Living for Christ can be done today
He gives each one of us our own way
Ways that were strange when I was younger
Now in my heart; for which I hunger

The need to be seen working a job
Now doesn’t seem to be worth “a bob”
Worshipping God by praying the Hours
Feeling his Love; Feeling his Power

The Opus Dei is now job one
After which the other tasks are done
So we are told in the holy Rule
For living a life in Love’s own school

It all seems so clear, now it makes sense
The fog now gone at the time was dense
Robert, Alberic and Stephen show
Along with Bernard the vale of Cîteaux