Retreat

I start my pre-novitiate retreat tonight. I will be on retreat until The Feast of the Annunciation. Then I will receive my habit. Please pray for me.

God Bless!!

Pax.

Good News

I received some very good news today. My request to become a novice has been accepted by the Abbot's council. Please God I will be clothed on The Feast of the Annunciation, 25 March, 2010.

Thank you, everyone, for your prayers. Please keep praying for me.

God's Blessing and Peace to you all!

Ash Wednesday

It has been a while since my last post, and I apologize for that. I have had a lot on my mind -- in a very good way.

Back in January I had mentioned a little bit about our community retreat. I must say I did find it funny that so many people asked me where we went for the retreat. I may have hurt a few feelings when I said, "What part of 'Enclosed Monastery' do you not understand?" Mea Culpa

The retreat was led by Mother Nikola, the Abbess of Minster Abbey near Canterbury in Kent. She gave two talk a day for a week. Most of her talks were about life in choir. Physically, The choir is two sets of wooden seats (stalls) that face each other across the church. Choir is where monks and nuns come together to pray the Divine Office. It is a major part of the life of any monk or nun, and the raison d'être for us that are enclosed.

The choir is a microcosm of what is going on in one's community life and a macrocosm of what is going on in one's own mind. With a little bit of introspection one can learn a lot about themselves and about the health of the community around them. Community life here is healthy. People do not absent themselves from the Divine Office or Mass. I have seen that in other communities, and it seems to be very painful. And how people responded to others' errors is also pretty good. Often, we just get on with the office; once in a while there is a laugh; but, I have never seen sneers, "tsks", or the like.

How I respond to the people around me says more about me than them: The other day I was quite frustrated with one of my brothers. It was a solemnity. So the hymn was in one book, the antiphons and responsories were in three parts of another book, plus there is the psalter. This brother was flipping back and forth in his book trying to find his place. I tried to assist, but he resisted my help. [How dare he!] After the Office, I stayed in church for a few minutes to pray out my frustration. I feel the Lord really spoke to me. He let me know that my frustration was with myself [long story] and my trying to control the situation with my brother was just winding me up tighter. If I stopped trying to control the situation, that my frustration would go away. The next couple times he was lost with his books, I offered help. Once he let me help and once he did not. Both times I went with the flow, and both times I felt better.

Mother Nikola also spoke about the manner in which we sing the psalms. One side says one stanza, and the other side says the next, and we go back and forth until the psalm is concluded with the "Glory be." Mother Nikola reminded us that we are not taking turns, but we are sharing the Word of God between us. We give a stanza, and we receive a stanza. I have found this most helpful. Now when I get distracted during the office, I remind myself to either "Give" or "Receive" with each stanza.

And now we begin the holy season of Lent. This year, instead of the abbot assigning a book, we have been told to choose a book on the Venerable John Henry Newman. As well as spiritual reading it is our preparation for his upcoming beatification. I do not know which book I will read: whether is is by Newman or about Newman. But I will keep you posted.

God's Blessings and Peace to you all.

Christmas Schedule

Using my "Feedjit" widget I saw that a few people were searching for the Mass Times for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I will leave this up until after St. Stephen's Day (Boxing Day) 26th December, 2009... At least

CHRISTMAS EVE

4:00 PM - Vespers
10:15 PM - Vigils
11:30 PM - Carols
12:00 AM - Midnight Mass


CHRISTMAS DAY

8:00 AM - Mass for the people
9:30 AM - Community Mass (Sung High Mass)
5:15 PM - Vespers and Benediction of the Blessed Sacrament

A Blessed Christmas to you.
God's Peace and Blessings!

Declan

CHRISTmas Carols

A log of people complain about our modern age and things like Political Correctness. I am one of those people. Somehow the idea of “diversity” was transformed to mean to pulverize anything that can be considered religious into a non-descript shade of beige. Now that I am in my dotage, I can cast my mind back to a simpler time when diversity was about allowing and respecting differences. Well a beacon of hope has shone brightly from the North West Leicestershire District Council. They asked Mount St. Bernard Abbey to host the Council’s Service of Lessons and Carols.

The service lasted about an hour and there were seven lessons (Scripture readings) and seven carols. On top of that we were all treated to some carols performed by a choir from Holy Cross School in Whitwick. The prayers were led by our about abbot and the lessons were mainly read by the Council members.

It went very well and about 260 people attended. The abbot is hopeful that we will be asked to host this event next year. I liked that it was definitely Christian, and there was no incursion by Santa, elves, or Rudolph. Now if there separate events for Hanukkah, Eid, or a secular celebration, I would support that too. Now they may already do this, and I am just unaware. (We are enclosed after all.)

The Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception

One of the unexpected benefits of abbey life is that the seasons, the church's and nature's, follow their own pattern. It does not matter that shopping for Christmas (Hanukkah, Kwanza, El-Eid, Winter Solstice, etc.) is in full swing. No TV, no newspapers, no advertisements. YEAH!!! For m the begnning of Advent, for once, has been about the Second Coming of Christ and not the trappings of the secular season.

Today being the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception was a holiday. With no classes or manual labour, I took a stroll after the Office of None (pronounced like known).

I started by visiting the calves. I am glad we do not eat meat here, because they are so docile. If I point to one, it comes rght up to me. Even our bull Remus, who must weigh the best part of a ton, comes up for a scratch behind the ears when I call his name.Little Bridget

It was also nice to see that during this grey time of year some plants still flower. I am not sure what this green prickly plant is, but it has beautiful little flowers. If anyone knows what plant that is please drop me a line.

There are even wild beasties roaming out side the security of the enclosure. Actually that is Mitzy and she is only yawning. She hangs out by the pottery.

And So It Begins... At Long Last :)

The above image was wantonly lifter from the Sub Tuum blog. Sorry, Br. Stephen. Tomorrow used to be know as Michaelmas: Feast of St. Michael the Archangel. It is now know as the Feast of the Archangels: Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael.

It is the 174th anniversary of the Founding of Mount St. Bernard Abbey. It is also the first day of my postulancy at Mount St. Bernard Abbey. Please pray for me.

God's peace and blessings to you all.

The Time is Almost upon Us (or just me)

I have just come over to England from Ireland. I am on a double "Family Tour." First I am seeing all of relatives on my mom's side of the family, then all the relatives on my dad's side. At least as many of them as I can: a couple cousin are off on holiday in Africa, and some are just off. :)

At present I am in Sussex. Experiencing fantastic autumnal weather. While my cousin did gardening, her husband took me to the town of Lewes. Later on we will go to my uncle who has just turned 90. Tomorrow I go up to Sheffield; then on down to Dudley.

The Castle Gate at Lewes

And this coming Tuesday I enter Mount St.Bernard Abbey. While packing upmy house I felt a good bit of apprehension. This is the first time in my life that I am closing a chapter of my life so firmly. This is the first time since I was 8 years old, that I do not have any keys. No keys to an house or a flat. No keys to a car or even a bike-lock. I do not even have locks on my luggage, so no keys there either.

But that chapter is closed. And the apprehension is gone. The sale of my house is entrusted to a remarkable friend. The title to the car is signed over. That which I did not need at the abbey was given away, thrown away, or just left behind. To a great extent I got rid of every thing that was extraneous to my new life. In time I will probably get rid of more stuff.

Detachment from things is pretty easy for most people to grasp. Detachment from friends and family is a lot more difficult to graps. Unlike things, I do not want to get rid of friends and family. But their priority in my life changes, and it changes drastically. Before I prioritized things the following way:

1. God
2. Family
3. Friends
4. Job

In a dire situation, one could temporarily move up to a higher position; but things averaged out in that manner. Now the list is more like:

1. God
2. Worship of God in the Liturgy
3. Conversio Morum (the changing of my ways)
   
4. Family and Friends

I cannot now drop things and run over and help. It can even be difficult to lend an ear, sometimes. But this is the life I have chosen, and I realized it long before I applied. But I pray that my friends stay friends with me. I do not want to loose them; I just cannot possess them.

So now here I stand on the precipice of my metaphorical Cîteaux. The Journey does not end here. Oh no! It is just beginning. The terrain is getting steeper and, I have to pay more attention to my footing. Strap up your hiking boots, grab a staff, and join me.

God's Blessing and Peace to you! Please pray for me.

It is officially official!!!

I have been accepted as a Postulant at the Abbey of Mount St. Bernard in the Charnwood Forest in Leicestershire, England. It is the only operating abbey of Cistercian monks in England, and about 50 miles from where I was born.

My date for entry will be 29 September 2009: The Feast of The Archangel: Saint Michael, Saint Gabriel, and Saint Raphael. It is also the 174th anniversary of the founding of the abbey.

Thanks for everyone's prayers. And I hope the prayers continue!

God's Blessings and Peace to all of my readers.

More Photos

This is the altar dedicated to St. Benedict. It is located behind the choir, and not visible from the people's nave.


















This is Br. Martin with Mitzy. He is an amazing potter. His pottery is for sale at the Abbey's gift shop. Mitzy is a good mouser.











In 1950 Michael Tansi entered the abbey. He took the name Cyprian. After his formation, was to return to Africa to help start a new monastery. He died suddenly in 1964. After a miraculous healing of a young girl in Cyprian's home country of Nigeria, he was declared blessed by Pope John Paul II in 1990. His remains were returned to Nigeria and interred in a church which is now a place of pilgrimmage. Many Nigerians and other devotees come to Mount St. Bernard because of him. This is a photo of his shrine in the church.









Some of the calves.














The abbey in hedge form!

Photos of Mount St. Bernard

Here are a few photos from around the abbey.

Here is Tim, the lion of Mount St. Bernard












This is the guest-house. The church is to the left in back.














This is the back of the abbey.













They have a Calvary at Mount St. Bernard that was carved by hand in the 1930's by one of the monks. Interestingly, the statue of St. John looks down at the pilgrims and not up at the cross.

Back Home - with the attack cat

The second half of my live-in is now complete. I left the abbey at abbey at 4:50 AM on July 29, 2009. I was home by 4 PM Chicago-time. I was back about 2 hours when my cat started using me as a chew toy --my punishment for being away for 2 weeks. I got a few bites from him this morning, too, just for good measure. Lucky looks harmless, bbut don't be deceived. He is 25 lbs of furry fury.

It is a shame I had to leave the abbey so early. Later on that morning one of the postulants was scheduled to be clothed as a novice. As this is done in Chapter, I would not have been able to attend the ceremony, but I would have liked to have seen him after words.

This trip went quite well.I met with the psychologist that the abbey uses for screening applicants. He was a bit too Jungian for my liking, but he was a very affable person. I got a copy of his review a few days later, and he gave a thumbs up. My meetings with the novice master and abbot were both positive, too. So now I wait for a few days, PRAY, and then I send a formal letter asking to be accepted. The novice master and I discussed a possible entrance date(which I view as a good sign). So if I am accepted, I will most likely enter on 29 September - Michaelmas. Please pray for me!


The Manual Labour was a bit more laid back for the summer months. On many of the nice days we were picking summer fruits like. We picked pound after pound of red currants, black currants, and raspberries. I made an interesting observation while doing this: Chickens like raspberries. Who knew? After feeding them a couple handfuls, the chcikens remembered me, and rushed over to the fence when ever I walked by.

I treated myself to a digital camera before I left for England. I took about 55 photos while I was there. One photo came out very well, which surprised me because I am not a very good photographer. It is a photo of the abbey church from the peoples nave. I think the Holy Spirit guided my hand.

Take care and God bless you all. I will post more photos tomorrow.

Back in the Sandals again.

If you are old enough, you may get the attempt at a joke in my title. Well I am back at Mount St. Bernard Abbey. I have been up for way too many hours, and am trying to stay up at least until 7PM.

The anxiety that I mentioned the other day evaporated as I got out of the cab. There is a peace that is ever-present; and I received quite a warm welcome.

On this trip I treated myself to a new camera. Hopefully the pictures will be enjoyable. Below is a picture from the back garden.

Sorry for the short entry, but I must start moving around before I fall asleep at this desk.

God Bless.

Monastic Live-in,Part Deux

On Monday I am flying back to Britain with Mount St. Bernard Abbey as my sole destination. After my half-month stay, I can formally apply to enter the abbey. I decided that I would not be doing any further traveling on this trip.

On my humble little blog I try to be honest. Honest about what I see and honest about my feelings. And I try to avoid being overly-positive or pollyannistic. So, emotionally speaking, the anticipation for this trip is very different from the previous two trips. There was a sense of adventure and discovery for the previous trips, but I am not expecting that anything will be different from my last trip in May.

Yesterday I started feeling anxious about this upcoming trip. At first this feeling worried me. On reflection I think the enormity of my decision to apply to the abbey has finally hit me. And it is about time. This decision is HUGE.

When I resigned my self to the thought that my religious vocation had fizzled, I put down roots. I established a career for myself, bought a house, entered in to public life (including a run for alderman), and most importantly I made a lot of friends. I thought that I was going to here in Blue Island for life. There were a few parishes in and near Blue Island that I checked out. None of them fit. Just over a year ago I joined St.Isidore the Farmer Parish, and I thought the final piece of the puzzle was found. I was there about three months when my vocation was reawakened.

I firmly believe that the Cistercian life with its focus on God and simplicity of life is what God wants for me. So the aspect of getting rid of my possessions is not a big deal. There is also the aspect of detachment from family friends. This is more of a challenge, because these relationships are two way streets. I will write more on that topic on a later date.

Sometimes I think God lifts some of his sweetness from our lives so that we are aware that we are entering into a new phase of life. A number of years ago I had two friends that were expecting their first child. As the due-date approached the dad-to-be confided to me that he was very nervous and afraid he was not up to the task of being a father. I told him that it was good that he was feeling that way because it showed that he was taking being a father seriously. I think the same thing can be said of my anxiety.

Again I ask for your prayers as I go to the abbey and as I apply to enter it. If any of you have prayer requests, please feel free to forward them to me.

God Bless you.
Pax!

Decisions, Decisions

May 27th -Feast of Augustine of Canterbury

Well today was a bit out of the ordinary; even after what I said yesterday. I think God has a good way of making us laugh at ourselves. We went to a conference of religious (Brothers, Sisters, Nuns, and Priests in religious orders). As the only aspirant in the group I was a bit of an oddball there… yes more of one than usual. While the speaker was not much to write home about (so I won’t); the sisters were quite interesting to talk to. More than a few had Chicago connections too! The Abbot and Novice Master attended with the novice, the two postulants, and myself.

May 28th
I spoke with the abbot today and I told him that I wanted to join the abbey. He wanted to know what formed my decision. The things that shape my decision were:

• My introduction to the Divine Office was the British translation and that is the translation I prefer.
• That translation is accessible to the laity, and the laity attend most every one of the offices at Mount St. Bernard (even Vigils, at times).
• The liturgy in England is much less politicized than in America. To coin a phrase, there is a Spectrum of Orthodoxy in England. The Mass can be celebrated worthily in a variety of ways: maybe more formal at times and maybe more intimate and personal at other times.
  
• Mount St. Bernard's has been around for almost 175 years. I do not think it is going anywhere, anytime soon.
• There is a great range of ages there from age 26 - 95. So there is both youthfulness and wisdom present at the abbey.
• All of the able body members take their part in manual twice a day. No one is "too good" for it.
• There is a real since of austerity at the abbey, not that they live in abject poverty.

During my first week of the live in, I did not even want to bring up the questions of a decision in prayer. By the beginning of the second week, I did not even have to ask the question... I knew the answer.

Fairly soon I will have another live-in. After that, I can apply to the abbot for entrance. I ask for your continued prayers as I begin this next leg of my journey. Thank You and Peace.

Leading up to the Feast of the Ascension

May 22nd

A little after 5 this morning I took a little post-prandial stroll. I began to think about monastic enclosure. I looked up at the clock tower which faces away from me. I realized that the clock tower is on the guest house side of the grounds; a place where I was not allowed. I looked up at the churches down-spouts. Each one has a coat of arms of a different English (historical) Cistercian house. During my first visit, I walked around and looked at them all, but know they are off limits. Now it is not as if I could never go out there, but if I am to become a postulant and later a novice; then they are out of bounds. At my fist visit, I had seen 5 or 6 monks whose work did not include the guest house, and I was only here a few days.

On the flip-side, the grounds within the enclosure are enormous. Plus being near the forest gives the illusion that the land just goes on, and on, and on. It is truly beautiful here.

Being a Friday, there is a penitential atmosphere, although it is not glum. It is very subtle. I might even say delicate. The underlying joy of the Pascal season still pervades.

May 23rd

I got up right at 3:15. Success! Ok,ok, I take joy in small victories. Speaking of small victories I have lost almost a stone (14 lbs) since I arrived on Monday. YEAH! Watch out for my new book: The Cistercian Diet…. Coming to a monastery near you. Four hours a day of actual manual labour has its benefits. So one stone down, one boulder to go.

There is beautiful spring weather here today. This is a rural setting with a forest next door. It is quite hard not to love this place. I walked over and saw the bull today. Man are bulls big. I saw some of the calves. I never knew the hair would be silky-soft. God’s creation is so wonderful. Poor little guys came up to me looking for some food.

May 24th

Today we celebrate the Solemnity of the Ascension of Our Lord. Nature is co-operating wonderfully with splendid weather. Sundays are days of rest here, except for a few monks. The cows still need to be fed and milked, meals are still prepared and served., and laundry will be done this evening. But for me after having had a busy schedule all week, I almost feel at a lost end. Almost. I took a nice long walk and did some spiritual reading. Then I took 10 minutes to bask in the sunshine. I think cats really are on to something with that basking business. In a little while it will be time for the Office of Sext, then Lunch.
Tomorrow will be a normal day… so to speak.

Back on the 'Island"

I am back home from my visit to Mount St. Bernard's. I kept a bit of a journal, and I wrote a little something almost every day of my two-week visit. I will start posting a couple entries at a time. I am not going to edit the entries so that you may see how my view point develops over the days:

May 18th

I was picked up at Nottingham Station by a friend of mine that I had not seen since his ordination 10 years ago. At that time we had both lost our fathers, now both our mothers have passed , too. We had a pleasant chat and arranged to meet each other after my retreat.

I received a very warm welcome from Br. Paul. He made some tea and we had a little talk. After the Office of Sext, Br. Clement, a novice, gave me the grand tour. He did his best to show me how the books for the Liturgy of the Hours worked together, too: The Psalter, Antiphonal, and Hymnal . He also taught me the three most common signs of the Cistercian Sign Language: Thank You, Sorry, and Joyful. Thank you is similar to the American Sign Language sign, Sorry is a couple mea culpas, and a was greeted with outstretched arms and a big smile. That can means, Happy Feast Day, or Welcome, or any Joyful Greeting. I received that greeting quite a few times.

It is a little past 8 PM and still quite sunny. But 3:15 AM comes early, so it is bedtime.

May 19th

I woke up way too early today - hours before Vigils. I was supposed to sleep in today, too. Hearing the church bells as they rang for Vigils at 3:25 sounded quite lovely. An hour later the first birds began to chirp. I am slowly getting the hang off the books of the Liturgy of the Hours. The Psalter is on a one-week cycle, the antiphonal is on a two-week cycle, and things are a little more complex since this is the Easter season.

I am meeting more of the community but it is not always easy remembering all the names. I spoke with a brother in temporary vows. He was telling me that he attended a lecture from a Benedictine sister from Chicago. Later in the conversation he told me that he had looked at the Abbey of Our Lady of Spring Bank, too, as part of his discernment process.

I did get an unfriendly greeting today from Tim, the abbey’s cat. He hissed at me; but being a good Trappist cat, he made no sound as he hissed.

Last post before June

This will be my last post before June. I am gearing up for my trip to England which is only a week away. My getting ready for the trip has been complicated by some minor storm damage to my house and someone almost plowing through my garage. The minor damage I am going to handle later today, but the garage will need to be fixed by a contractor.

But this has not put a damper on my spirits. I have a quiet excitement about me in regards to this trip. It will be good for me to see the Abbey of Mount St. Bernard "from the inside", so to speak. Providentially I have already had an "inside view" of Our Lady of Spring Bank Abbey. I think I will finally be able to make an apples to apples comparison.

Please keep me in your prayers.
PAX

Second Visit to Mount St. Bernard Abbey - one month away

I will be making my second vocational visit to Mount St. Bernard Abbey in about one months time. I am quite excited about this prospect. This time I will be staying with the community instead of in the guest house..

I think one of the tougher aspects of the visit is to remove my rose-colored glasses. It is too easy for me to superimpose what I am looking for on to what actually exists. The best mind-set is for me to go in with an open mind, not wearing any blinders. It is easy to say, but hard to do. Part of the difficulty is that I have been trying for years to follow my vocation.

I think there is a parallel in the dating world, when someone is in love with the idea of being in love; but not in a true loving relationship with the person they are dating. And whether one is looking for their religious vocation or there spouse, when you get to a certain age there is a lot of pressure.

I need to be sure I do not overlook a possible significant, or make a mountain out of a molehill. Or, I should say, I need to rely on God's grace and the prayers of others. When making a these steps in what will eventually be a life-long commitment, the logic of the world does not always apply. The time comes when one can no longer leave their options open. I think it is Kierkegaard who talks about taking the leap of faith. And ultimately faith is all that matters in my decision.

I pray that God blesses those who have taken the time to read my little blog, and I humbly ask for your prayers for my decision.

PAX

The Liturgy at Mount St. Bernard's Abbey

With the exception of Vigils, church services were fairly well attended by retreatants and day-visitors. Daily Mass with Terce had the best attendance, but from Lauds to Compline there were at least 15 people besides the community. Attendance at Mass was more like 40.


The abbey uses the Grail Translation of the psalms. This is the translation with which I have the most familiarity... and affection. I learned about the Liturgy of the Hours at Oscott College when I was a student for the Archdiocese of Birmingham. In the British Edition of the Roman Breviary care was taken to retain the poetical/lyrical nature of the psalms, canticles, and even some of the prayers. When praying with some of the other additions, I was taken aback by some more blunt translations. One politically "corrected" edition was just horrible. I prefer biblically correct translations over politically correct translations anyday, no matter how blunt.

During the rest of the day, as I was reading or walking the grounds and surrounding area, the chanting of the psalms would just re-play in my memory. As I stated above, I do have an affection for the Grail Translation. The psalms are like old friends. They stay with me after the liturgy. Sometimes, despite years of saying the same psalms over and over, a new dimension appears to me. The most amazing thing to me about the psalms is how they speak to the age in which they were written, they speak to us about Christ, and they speak to us about our lives today.